Disney World Heals: Letting your inner child lead the way

I am a 48-year old woman. Mother of five, graduate level education, business owner, veteran and provider. I have both traveled and lived abroad, taking in every experience, taste, sight and sound that life has to offer.

From an outsider’s perspective, I am a successful woman.
The truth is, I am in need of emotional healing.  I am not as successful as some may believe me to be.  I am a work in progress.
When it comes to wellness, the authentic emotional health of an individual is just as important as fitness, nutrition and rest.  Unfortunately, humans work very hard to suppress, mask and deflect their emotions.
Alcoholism, drug addiction, whether it’s prescription or illegal, addiction to social media, television and Internet, addictions to sugar, eating, self abuse, shopping and collecting ‘stuff’, addictions to traditions and old agreements, addiction to anxiety and self loathing or drama, these are just some of the things that help people deflect their need to heal emotionally.
I never realized a simple experience could help heal the soul!!!!
Maybe not completely, but when it comes to healing, every little bit counts, right?
A Disney World experience is capitalism at its finest.  Thousands of families, most with strollers, backpacks and diaper bags.  Long lines and crowded places are both existences I avoid at all cost and yet from the moment I boarded the Disney bus, I felt a sense of freedom and absolute release.  I felt peaceful.
The music, the positivity, the enchantment and the magic were the perfect medicine for my inner child.
You see, my inner child has been silenced for years. Playfulness was not tolerated, as it was not adult. Speaking your feelings was frowned upon because children were seen, not heard. Being strong or tough was not in alignment with gender roles. Standing up for victims of sexual abuse was considered rehashing the past. Being independent in thought was being disrespectful. Not following the crowd was seen as defiance.
As I walked through the entry gates of this magical place, all childhood trauma seemed to dissipate. I just let go, skipping my way through the streets full of people and magic. In spite of the crowds, I felt total release.
Our vacation was playful, spontaneous, full of joy and laughter and most of all,
therapeutic.
As we grow older, we tend to accept our emotional pain as status quo.  We allow past trauma and old agreements to consume our existence, even subconsciously.  We simply close the door to things that have happened to us, in false belief that building a barrier between past and present somehow prevents emotional pain from getting through.
Quite the contrary!
Emotions are more like a hurricane, building and building in a circular whirl of speed.  Sometimes, the emotional hurricane dies out over time, but sometimes, it can hit with such fury that it damages everything around it. Unfortunately, most people do not understand this connection to their emotional baggage.
The magic in the air was undetectable, but existed nonetheless.  I was consumed by a sense of happiness, laughter and energy.
My inner child was playing, and playing hard she was.  The stresses of life and adulthood seemed to dissolve and for three glorious days, I grew young again.
I am not saying that a trip to Disney World will solve all of your problems, albeit emotional or situational.  However, I will say for me, Disney World was the impetus for allowing myself to take a backseat to my inner child.  Now that I am back to my older current self, I have found a new perspective on certain things and have released other things no longer serving me.
Find that place and be free.

The Voice of Reason…When Is Justice Served?

Two years ago, the brutal police tasing of an elderly Texas man, reported by The Victoria Advocate, took the nation by storm as it set into motion the preexisting division of a broken country.  76-year old Pete Vasquez’s life changed instantly, transforming from a peaceful father, grandfather and husband to a vulnerable and emotional man.  In less than 20 seconds, his peace turned to fear; a fear that will remain for the duration of his life.

His crime?  None.  As highlighted in this International Yahoo.com News video, Police camera showed Mr. Vasquez was pulled over by a young police officer for not having an inspection sticker, even though the dealer plates were clearly displayed on the vehicle he was driving.  This was all part of Mr. Vasquez’s job as a mechanic.

As Mr. Vasquez attempted to show the officer the plates and explain to him that no inspection sticker was required, the officer forcibly grabbed the mere 5 foot 5 inch unarmed, non-aggressive elderly gentleman and wrestled him to the hard concrete, where he reportedly deployed his taser into the victim twice, although the victim’s account states three times in the Victoria Advocate interview linked above.

Due to erroneous behavior on the officer’s part, the local police department’s chief immediately made right the incident by personally apologizing for this young officer’s gross mistake, as reported by a local Houston, Texas media source.

“Vasquez was never charged or cited for any wrongdoing. He told Local 2 News that the chief of Victoria police actually came to his house that night to apologize.”

In spite of the apology, the need to hold the young officer accountable remained.

As parents, we are responsible for the actions of our children until they are of legal age to assume their own responsibilities.  As an employer, we are ultimately responsible for the actions of our employees.  As a governmental entity, we are responsible for the safety and security or those we serve and must hold accountable the actions of our sworn servants.

In the case of Pete Vasquez, the accountability for his being brutally wrestled to the ground and reportedly tased twice for doing wrong was more than simple responsibility.  It took determination on the part of the victim to stand against all unwarranted police aggression, especially when the victim is known harmless.

Mr. Vasquez used everything he believed to ensure the justice he deserved was served.  He wanted justice against this brutal attack so that the vulnerable, weak, elderly, mentally incapable and frail were no longer bullied into submission through aggressive measures.  A judiciary task much greater than one man could accomplish.  Unfortunately, his fight for justice became nothing more than a spoke in one small wheel of a much greater machine.

The process on which our nation relies to provide a fair decision is a flawed one at best.  Blanket laws designed to prevent a law-enforcement officer from being punished for performing his/her duties also protect them and provide immunity even when they make a serious judgment error.  This immunity prevents public servants from being held accountable.  (See more here on Qualified Immunity).

Moreover, police and public servants have direct access to deep-pocketed advocacy groups,  which help these individuals defend their actions, despite being wrong, and work tirelessly to obtain settlements to remain silent.

What this boils down to?  A city presumably will legally “pay off” a police officer to remain silent about a case so as not to create problems for them or interfere with any future legal actions.  It is a settlement for silence.  What you end up with is an officer who receives settlement payments in addition to being gainfully employed without penalty in some other location, likely a neighboring city or other area, even after being terminated for a wrongful violation.

Some might call this “double dipping”, but it is a legalized bribery of sorts; a resource to which a clear majority of citizens do not have access.

Regarding the Victoria, Texas case, the “system” failed to indict the accused officer for his wrongful doing, despite finding him in violation of several city police regulations, or rules of conduct.  The officer was terminated from the city, however, was in no way held accountable for his wrongful actions.  They even made it clear that it wasn’t a good idea to try and go after Mr. Vasquez for “resisting arrest”, a misdemeanor.

A slap on the wrist for a lifetime of mental anguish, fear and anxiety he caused one elderly gentleman.

It is believed the Grand Jury only did what they could legally, but left the door open for possibility of monetary justice.  They could have indicted the officer, but due to protection by the immunity law, had a high probability of a “not guilty” verdict and Mr. Vasquez would have ended up not only wasting what little time he may have at the end of his life, but also wasting his own money and quality of life.  He would have become a victim once again to a long and drawn out process of waiting for the “system” to fail him.

This waiting might have surpassed his own life, and then the fight for justice would be cast aside in a dismissal.

For many, there was a strong sense of injustice that had taken place.  At minimum, the belief this alleged hot-headed officer should lose his license served as the common thread for controversial discussion.  In local restaurants, social media posts and newspaper threads, the division and hatred of individual “arm-chair quarterbacks” surfaced.

People from around the globe possessed an obvious need to spread their opinion in reference to a case they knew nothing about, spouting vitriolic opinions of the family, the elderly man and the police officer.

Even though citizens are entitled to their opinions from the safety and anonymity of their electronic devices, the fact remains that none can intelligently interject a valid opinion unless they have directly endured what happened to Pete Vasquez.

To obtain justice, Mr. Vasquez stood strong for what he believed and selflessly set out to right the wrongs done against him t in hopes to protect the next Pete Vasquez.  His battle would be with The City of Victoria, TX based on his personal belief that his Civil Rights were violated.

As individual tax paying citizens, very few people possess an abundance of time in their life, much less the excess of time to fight a senseless battle.  One would think when we mess up or bring harm to someone, we would immediately work to make it right for them.  And yet, it is the exact opposite.

Even when an officer is in gross error, it is strongly suggested, even encouraged, that a citizen not question or resist the officer, and “sort it out” down at the station.  What does sorting it out mean?  It means putting a halt to whatever task or emergent activity in which one is engaged, whether it be driving your dying mom to the hospital or trying to pick up your child from school.  It means stopping your freedoms to live your life, get to your job, complete your task list all to “sort it out” and prove your innocence.

It is important to seriously put thought into the entire process.  Most individuals do not have the time or the funding to “fight” when they are wronged by a servant of the system.  They just comply with the consequence, not because it is the right thing to do but because there is a basic level of understanding of what fighting the wrongs you endured at the hands of a protected servant truly entails.

Obtaining counsel, going through the “process”, driving to the courthouse, paying for parking, waiting, trials, pre-conferences, mediation in remote locations, long winded phone calls with attorneys so they can maximizes their own return on investment and so many other unwritten inconveniences is a sampling of what proving one’s innocence entails.  For the vulnerable populations, this can be devastating to living life and to one’s health.

For Mr. Vasquez, he was doing nothing more than his daily job.  His mind was focused on getting home to his wife who suffered from severe dementia.  He was simply trying to make a living.  During his job duties, a less than 20-second decision made in a knee-jerk reaction set into motion the devastating course of events, requiring emergency responses in order to get to the wife and contact family, all of which created a sudden halt in his and in the daily operations of other family members who were working and trying to live their own lives.

The process was set into motion like the wheels of a machine when Mr. Vasquez decided to fight for this justice.  To fight The City in a court of law would bring in bigger and muddier entities.  Insurance companies.

Once the insurance company, its lobbyists and legal associates get involved, the fight then becomes about the monetary value of a human life.  In Mr. Vasquez’s case, what was this man’s worth as a human and a victim of police brutality?

Following countless frustrations, interactions with the media, multiple negotiations taking him from his own life and that of his dying wife and the senseless wasting of time by insurance representatives, a settlement was hesitantly reached.

Because no “lasting physical harm” was exacted onto this elderly man, the value of his life and the price tag on his torment was deemed much lower than had he been disabled from the incident, or worse, killed.

The value of the life of Mr. Vasquez was carelessly negotiated, during which time his wife died, adding to his pain and frustration over the process; a pain and frustration that no public official, no legal entity, no insurance representative and no person found to hold any value.

Mr. Pete Vasquez, a man who was forbidden from living his life as a 77-year old should be doing, or forbidden from attending to his ill and dying wife in the capacity she deserved, was forced to live his life in painful interaction due directly to the erroneous actions of one young man who was sworn to serve and protect, but protected by a blanket law.  His monetary value was decided and finalized.

His goal was to move forward and put it all behind him, taking up a new hobby to refocus his energies onto to something positive.  Although he is still easily brought to tears when forced to recount the past 2 years, he maintained his focus of going forward.

Months after the settlement, a follow up interview with Mr. Vasquez regarding the incident unveiled what appeared to be a strong media oppression of this man’s voice.

I sat through the interview in silence and listened to the questions asked, most of them hedged at generating a level of vulnerability and fake trust so he would feel comfortable speaking without filter.  He fought thought his emotional recollection of the scarring events and tried to maintain a positive focus.  He told the reporter he felt that justice was served in his case as best it could be, but that he was concerned for future interactions for himself and others like him.

The front-page article failed to reflect what this man had asked it to reflect, which was sharing that a settlement had been reached but that the system was flawed in obtaining justice when those sworn to protect and serve fail to do so.  Even the trailer articles published following the story reflected the same sentiments.

Instead, the article focused on shifting energies away from the system, and in what appeared to be a carefully skewed manner, pointing the finger at a broken man who allegedly refused counseling and refused to disclose the settlement amount.

The story highlighted blame of family, who perceptually silenced Mr. Vasquez from talking of the incident or about his true feelings.  It even went on to quote none of which was profound to the case, but only those hedged statements that created blame through plausible deniability.

Mr. Vasquez’s incident was not a minor incident by any definition.  It was not a personal injury case.  It was a civil rights matter and It indirectly launched a country into division regarding civil rights and legalities between servants of the law and innocent citizens to whom they serve.

Police departments owe the citizens, at minimum, the safety and protection for all.  They are held to a higher standard and should be provided with additional training focused on conflict resolution beyond physical detainment.

A harmless elderly man stopped for a perceived traffic violation, one that proved not to be valid, who was 50 years the senior of a very young and aggressive male, barely of legal drinking age, should be provided the compassion and respect of what he as a law-abiding citizen has experienced over a lifetime; his lifetime.

A single young woman who is pulled over on a dark county road should not fear for her safety, especially if no wrong has been done.  However, it is the fear of many women and other vulnerable populations such as elderly and young teen drivers that they will be stopped without reason and harmed, or worse KILLED, for their rational expression of their rights being violated.

The incident involving Pete Vasquez and the Victoria, Texas Police Department is a critical and real reflection of our society.  It serves as an opportunity to enact positive change in a flawed and broken system.

Those individuals and groups with the power and funding to bring change to the system and rewrite the blanket laws like the immunity law or consequences for officers using tasers and weapons on vulnerable populations owe our country, our states, our cities and our communities the respect of standing up for the citizens.  They possess the ability to bring forth changes that will protect future incidents from happening.  So why do they not?

Because of the broken process.

It was highlighted in the article how insurance companies, specifically auto insurance providers, delineate the age of maturity as 25-years old for male drivers and have done so for a long time.  Anyone under 25 is deemed a high risk due to their knee-jerk response probability, their aggressive behaviors, their lack of ability to be observant of danger and for this group, they pay double or even triple the insurance rate to drive.  Why is it that insurance companies of police departments do not follow the same course of action when hiring those same age groups as officers?  Moreover, why is it that they are not provided with additional training to help them understand and respect the entire community they are sworn to serve?

It was said that Nathaniel Robinson, the officer who tased Mr. Vasquez was 23 years old at the time of the incident.

There is a buzz among media and legislation looking to implement into our school-aged children procedures on how one should interact with police if stopped or arrested.  This does nothing more than teach our children that they do not possess the right to speak, even with a calm and reasonable voice and that they are to be submissive and simply endure whatever harsh or abusive treatment that comes at them, regardless of whether they have committed any crime.

Any action, whether just or unjust, against the “king’s men” is an action against the “king himself”, and therefore punishable by death.

Is this what we as a nation want to convey to our children, that our justice system is not on their side if they are wronged?

Mr. Pete Vasquez will, now 78 years old (soon to be 79), will forever be reminded of a system that was in his case, lacking in its ability to “Protect and Serve”.

SWEET! How We Are Killing Ourselves Through Our Addiction To Sugar

There is no difference between sweet substances and cocaine when it comes to the brain.   I’m just going to throw this out there like the first ball of the baseball season…SUGAR IS A DRUG.

I know, you will probably make up every excuse as to why this statement isn’t true for you or your unique situation.  You may even stop reading right now because you believe your justifications for the sweet stuff have validity.  To me, the excuses are more like the annoying buzzing sound of a mosquito in that they prevent me from hearing any words of truth.

Sugar, regardless of form, is NOT A NUTRIENT.  Your body does not need sugar.  Period.  What it requires to function is CARBOHYDRATES, which can be found in abundance in foods that are not sweet such as quinoa, millet, wild rice, whole oats and a rainbow of fresh whole vegetables.

Sugar is the number one reason why nearly 40 MILLION Americans are diabetic and just over 85 MILLION are diagnosed pre-diabetic.  A mere 5% of the diabetic population is the one you are born with, Type I, where your body does not produce insulin.  That leaves 95% of all cases being labeled as SELF-INFLICTED SLOW SUICIDE.

I know that is harsh, but as a wise man once told me, you can sprinkle glitter on a turd and it’s still a turd.  Diabetes, type II, is preventable, so sprinkling glitter on it doesn’t lessen its stink.

People with diabetes cost the country just under $300 BILLION each year in lost wages, medicines, procedures and health care.

People with diabetes have a 50% higher risk of DEATH than those who do not have this preventable disease.

It all comes down to SUGAR.

Sugar is hidden in EVERYTHING, especially prepackaged foods.  Here is a list of some of the names of sugar in your food:  Honey, turbinado, organic sugar, raw sugar, agave syrup, maple syrup, stevia, fruit juice, cane sugar, fruit sugar, anhydrous dextrose, brown sugar, cane crystals, corn syrup, corn syrup solids, crystal dextrose, evaporated cane juice, fructose sweetener, fruit juice concentrates, high-fructose corn syrup, liquid fructose, malt syrup, molasses, pancake syrup, sugar, syrup, white sugar, fructose, lactose, maltose, sugar alcohol, carbitol, concentrated fruit juice, corn sweetener, diglycerides, disaccharides, erythritol, Florida crystals, fructooligosaccharides, galactose, glucitol, glucoamine, hexitol, inversol, isomalt, maltodextrin, malted barley, malts, mannitol, nectars, pentose, raisin syrup, ribose rice syrup, rice malt, rice syrup solids, sorbitol, sorghum, sucanat, sucanet, xylitol and zylose.

It’s all sugar and all UNNECESSARY.

Sugar and sugar substitutes (artificial sweeteners) have a more serious NEGATIVE role in that they create an addiction response in our brain by creating an overwhelming dopamine response.  There is no neurological difference between a tsp of honey and an equivalent amount of stevia or sucralose.

For those who aren’t sure what dopamine is:

The chemical in our body that makes us “feel good”.  Dopamine is responsible for the positive feeling we get when we have positive experiences, have good sex, win a race or eat a good meal.

EXCESS of anything such as drugs, sex, gambling, gaming, alcohol and even sugar cause the dopamine receptors to fire out of control and lead to that “HIGH” feeling that addicts receive.  The problem with addictive behaviors and substances is that you need more and more of it to feel good and that NEED overrides rationality and the understanding of consequences involved in the addiction.

Addiction to anything results in negative consequences.  For alcoholics, this means losing their job, financial stability, health issues and even family structure and relationships.  For gamblers/gamers, this may be loss of finances, family, home, car and even life.  For drug addicts, this can mean serious health issues, loss of homes, committing additional crimes to obtain money to buy drugs and even federal criminal status.  For the sugar addict, this means cravings, out of control eating patterns, issues in losing or maintaining a healthy weight and health issues.

The “excess” indulgence in these things changes the brain, the body and creates an adaptation that prevents healthy behavioral, psychological and biological responses.  Basically, the more you do, the more you need to get your “HIGH” and less responsible and rational decisions you will make regarding life, health, relationships and other important things.

Even in brain scans, the brain stimulated by sugar looks exactly the same as the one stimulated by cocaine.

If you are looking to change your health, lose weight, lose body fat and rid yourself of disease, giving up your addiction to sugar is very important.  For the general population, this means PAYING ATTENTION to the ingredients of your food labels, which is where sugar is often hidden and fiber is often non-existent.

For the SUGARHOLIC (the individual who is addicted to the sweet) who has no intention of tackling their addiction, there are maximum levels of sugar consumption deemed “safe” by the powers that be.  This maximum applies to any sweet stuff, whether a sugar substitute, real sugar or artificial sweetener.

For WOMEN, the maximum sugar  (or equivalent) you should consume each day is 6 teaspoons/24 grams (or 2 tablespoons).

For MEN, the maximum is 9 teaspoons/36 grams (or 3 tablespoons).  This includes artificial sweeteners and sugar substitutes as well.

To put this into real life situations:

Miniature candy bar has 3.5 g of sugar (approx. 1 tsp of sugar)

Sugar free candy contains artificial sweeteners and should not be consumed in greater amounts than the maximum for regular sugar.

A cup of pasta sauce has about 10 g of sugar ( 3 + tsp)

A snicker’s bar has about 27 g of sugar (6 + tsp)

Superfood drinks can have 32 g of sugar (8 tsp)

Instant flavored or fruit/nut added oatmeal can have 35 g of sugar (8 + tsp)

A muffin can have 40 g of sugar (10 tsp)

Yogurt can have 28 g of sugar (7 tsp)

Small size healthy smoothies can have 60 g of sugar (15 tsp)

IHOP whole wheat pancakes with bananas and no syrup have 32 g of sugar (8 tsp)

 

Just one post workout fitness smoothie from your favorite location has more than 10 times the MAXIMUM daily sugar intake and the list goes on and on.

One popular justification on sugar is ALCOHOL.  Unsweet alcohol has smaller levels of sugar (alcohol sugar), which is still a sugar and has a double negative impact on the brain because the alcohol itself is a poison and it contains alcohol sugar, a sugar substitute.  Whiskey, wine, beer and other alcohols all contain around .5-1.5g of alcohol sugar per serving (1oz for hard alcohol and wine and beer is around 5oz).  Alcohol mixers, such as Pina Colada, margarita and fruit juices are seriously high in sugar.

Bottle of beer has the least amount of “sugar” and light beer has slightly more.

Gin and tonic has about 4 tsp of sugar

Small Pina Colada has about 8 tsp of sugar

Cranberry and vodka has about 7 tsp of sugar

Unsweet wine has less than ¼ tsp of sugar

 

Just remember alcohol is a poison for the body and puts high stress on the LIVER.  For people with an already taxed liver, caused by eating poorly, medications, and unnecessary supplementation, alcohol can have significantly negative impacts on the body.

In short, you do not need sugar.

If you feel you need sweets, eat fresh whole fruits so that you have the necessary fiber to balance them out and obtain all the nutrients.  Don’t assume sugar substitutes and artificial sweeteners are any better for you.  Don’t assume fruit juice, dried fruit, fruit concentrates or fruit sugars are healthy options.  Don’t assume unsweetened alcohol is OK.

Given the fact that sugars are found in almost all foods that are carbohydrates, one good mathematical equation you can use is for every gram of FIBER in your food, whether natural or added, you can subtract one gram of sugar you consume.

There is a reason why the rate of obesity has significantly increased since the introduction of sugar-substitutes and sugar-free packaged foods.

The bottom line….if you desire optimal health or weight loss, GIVE UP THE SWEETS.