Abundance is not something we acquire. It’s something we tune into. – Wayne Dyer
What is abundance?
In truth, the definition varies from person to person. And rightfully so, because we are ALL unique beings and have different experiences of what creates fulfillment and genuine happiness within our soul.
It can be simple or complex. It can be giving or receiving. It can be a gesture or a thought.
As a connected couple, we find abundance in some of the seemingly mundane chores. When we are pushing our cart through the grocery store, we fully honor the bounty sitting inside the cart. This is our abundance.
When we snuggle up to one another at the end of an exhausting day or at first light, we honor our connection and the energy and light in one another. This is our abundance.
When we sit across from one another, running our business together as part of our day to day routine or creating new ideas and discussing our future, we honor ourselves in that we created our current existence. This is our abundance.
People struggle because they choose to struggle. In life. In health. In finances. In wants and desires. In career. In education.
They create negative energy around their own beliefs and practices; an energy that stresses them out instead of shifting the negative energy into a more positive form and becoming something or someone different!
This usually starts by being grateful for what YOU HAVE.
If you are working long, exhausting hours to simply PAY YOUR BILLS, your own path may be your own creation. Working to pay for debt is not a way of life, but rather a distraction from what heals and what is real. Add work to the other distractions in our routines taking us away from a rich and fulfilling life, such as alcohol, football/sports, shopping and the obsession with tradition, and you have a cocktail of confusing and erratic energy.
This can create a feeling of scarcity and not being enough.
Working long hours, unrealistic labor practices, conflict over silly issues and the inability to break away and recover through practices like relaxation, are all signs of misalignment.
If you are stressed out to boot? You are trapped! You are not where you are
Intended to be, but where you choose to be. How can you find and claim abundance with this distracted existence and mindset?
Yesterday, while celebrating my birthday lunch, I observed a husband and wife seated at an adjacent table. I listened to them argue, although they pretended be talking. Their facial features were on the edge of anger, and yet through lowered voices, they masked the truth of their words.
They hadn’t spoken for about 10 minutes and the husband stepped away from the table. In what appeared to be her discomfort with being alone, the woman picked up her phone to make a call. began dumping copious energy into ‘setting up’ some sort of event or attendance to an event for a group of teenage girls, speaking very loudly in the restaurant for all to hear.
It felt as if she was trying to assert her own importance by drawing attention to her skills, her self-importance and her I identity. The quintessential stage mom!
After she hung up, she carried the shallow conversation into her husbands space and this sparked honesty within him. He clearly explained in a low voice to her that she was wasting her time and energy, creating stress over something that required no stress.
She became irritated with his words, defending herself and her identity. Conflict arose.
For the next 10 minutes, you could hear her put all of her energy into a shallow and meaningless argument, creating stress in her marriage over an event!
Stress is the result of feeling the opposite of gratitude and abundance.
We become stressed because we feel as though we are lacking or that scarcity exists. That we aren’t doing enough or that we won’t have enough in some facet of our existence.
Stress is the result of FIGHT or FLIGHT, which is the natural response to a REAL stimulus which somehow threatens our existence and our resources. We all experience stress, but some create their own in order to feel comfortable.
Questioning our stress by asking:
Is this genuinely a threat to my safety?
Becoming clear on the source of stress and it’s relevance in your present and to your safety can help identify whether or not you are creating it. Are you ‘stressed out’ over holiday gifts, baking or cleaning the house for holiday festivities?
Is it genuinely a threat to your safety to make sure your child has the best outfit or attends many activities in a false sense that it brings happiness?
Is it genuinely a threat to your safety that you stay late at work to get work done because you cannot get work done during the day because it’s too stressful?
These are all created, and prevent us from having gratitude for our true abundance.
The real stress comes from doing all of those things, and then putting so much pressure on ourselves and then onto others, our spouses, our children, our coworkers, that eventually will CRACK and BREAK under the pressure.
The stress you create will cause harm to your health, your marriage, your family and even your future. It will create lack and scarcity within, creating further stress and negativity.
Here are some TIPS for helping you prevent stress for the holiday season and your future:
Be grateful for what you have. Each and every day, speak aloud with gratitude for even the smallest experiences! If it brings you repeated stress, it’s NOT FOR YOU and is NOT IN ALIGNMENT with you. Alignment is fluid. It flows.
If it’s misaligned, FIX IT, set boundaries or throw it out!
If your health and wellness is beginning to suffer: fatigue, not working out, repeating old destructive patterns like drinking, overeating and smoking, frequent allergies or colds, stomach issues, constant conflict at home, then you are experiencing WARNING signs that something is broken. Pay attention and either fix it, create boundaries or get rid of it.
I’m not suggesting quitting your job or leaving your spouse, but if you value your future health and wellness, I am suggesting saying ‘NO’ to the patterned practices depleting your resources: time, energy, money. Saying no to your choice and participation in unnecessary stress!
1. Get aligned. See what you want and start moving in the direction you desire. Visualize what it looks like to already be there and act as though you are already there.
2. Open your eyes! If you genuinely believe your stress, health and drama is not of your own doing, then you need to wake up. Take ownership and responsibility for your stress then focus on eliminating it.
3. Stop collecting STUFF! Do you really NEED a new outfit for the party? Do you NEED another costly certification? Do you NEED a brand new car with debt for convenience sake? Does your kid NEED all of the additional stuff in their life, their room? Stop accumulating excess and get only what you NEED!
4. What is most important right now? If sitting on your ass and trying to figure out what is most important IS your priority, then give it life. If it’s cleaning up the shed or sweeping the floor, give it life. Priority means that it is most important to the present. In relationships, your priority is your SPOUSE and if what you are doing is creating stress, you need to shift your priority.
5. You don’t have the answers or all of the solutions. Be open and receptive to adjustments and new perspectives. If you are someone who changes their mind every time they read a new book or watch a new podcast, you are an amoeba. If you refuse to shift and see things from other’s views, you are a brick. Find the energy thread that aligns with you and your values and leave the rest. You do not have to be right for the world, only in alignment for you!
6. Yes, we all need a safety net, but stop stop stop creating anxiety over the ‘what if’! If you have ever turned around and looked at your own growth, you probably realized you were responsible for your own safety. Stop putting safety into the hands of others, giving them the power to let you fall. Stop relying on the fear of losing your safety as a means to not live out a dream or make a choice. You are responsible for your own safety.
7. Reach high! Stop doing things because it’s tradition or because your friends and family might judge you if you don’t. Reach high, be weird and creative. A genius of success and abundance does not do what others are doing. They do not follow another’s path. They do what makes their soul happy.
8. Be open to potentials, opportunities and gifts. These may come unexpectedly or in the form of people, experiences and new adventures. We all too often get stuck in the ‘yea, I would do that BUT…’ cycle of excuses. If an opportunity arises, take it. Especially if it is close to your goals in life. A job in another city may be your gift. If you are continually led to another perspective or a specific mindset, go. If you are struggling in a certain town, leave if an opportunity presents. Be open.
Abundance comes from seeing yourself where you desire to be and then aligning your environment congruently in order to be able to receive the gifts when they arrive.
It’s looking around and saying WOW, I have the best spouse in the world. My kids are perfect as they are. I have so many opportunities for purchasing good food. I am blessed with the time I have to work out. I have a beautiful home, great transportation, plenty of clothing, enough food, a great phone, an income source, great people in my life and fantastic gym (and if you don’t, then change it!). I have enough!
Gratitude comes from publicly and privately honoring and respecting that which you have TODAY with such overwhelming positive emotion that no one can deny your appreciation for what you have or your abundance.
Take charge of your happiness!
Live in abundance.