One Saturday morning, I sat on the floor snuggled up in my cozy blanket with a cup of refrigerated cold-brew coffee. No cream, no sugar.
As I stretched away the stiffness of a night’s rest, I looked at my single cup of simple blackness and realized just how many old habits I had overcome and how many new habits I had developed in the past year.
You see, a year ago, my morning routine included waking up, stumbling to the kitchen and making a pot of coffee. Grinding the beans, setting up the pot and pouring the water. In included waiting for the final signal that my coffee was done. It included adding cream and sugar. At one point, it included adding whipped cream to each cup consumed.
Some may call it a morning ritual, but the truth is I had a habit.
As I stared into my cup, it suddenly became crystal clear that each and every human, every one of us alive today chooses the habits we have.
Every day, we awaken to the same rituals and acts, we think the same thoughts, we move through the same processes and we perform the same activities. Yet, somehow we expect our outcomes to be different.
We consume the same toxic substances and expect our health to improve. We eat the same processed junk and expect our weight to decrease. We stay in the same patterns of stress and lethargy and expect our life to be joyful.
As humans, we are each born with a unique set of personality traits. We have specific quirks and dispositions that are innate to us. However, the thoughts we think today, in this moment , the way we act throughout our day to day lives and the feelings we have about people, places, things and events all create the personality of who we are and what we experience.
This in turn directly creates the reality you are living today!
You create the day, the season, the year and all of its happenings just by thinking, acting and feeling. Your life is your reality and you made it.
If you awoke one morning and decided that you wanted a change your life, your body, or a situation; that you wanted to manifest more of something lacking, a life that is different or a healthier body than what you have in this moment, THEN YOU MUST CHANGE your personality!
You must change the way you think. You cannot thing negative thoughts about yourself and create positive outcomes. People who hate their life, their bodies, their relationships, their jobs, the way they eat, their family dynamics and their health are the result of such thoughts.
You must change the way you act, which includes changing up your routines, your responses to situations, your interactions with others, your processes, your exercise and eating patterns, your reactions to people, your activities and your behaviors.
You must change the way you emote or feel about things, your outlook, your judgments and your beliefs.
To change your life in any capacity, you MUST BECOME SOMEONE ELSE!
Take a look at the past week….many of you will attest to experiencing a challenging week. Exhaustion, stress, overwhelmed, relationship struggles, loneliness, conflict, physical pain, suffering, grief, drama.
How did you handle it? Did you reach in the pantry for the bag of chips or turn to that bottle of wine? Did you yell at your spouse or your children? Did you plop onto the sofa and engage in a mindless television program or scroll through the social media accounts of others?
You created your own negativity by creating your own reality.
Your thoughts were the same thoughts you seem to have every other day…about work, about your spouse, about your in-laws, about the expectations you have of others, about your body. You continue to talk negative about them and continue to think the same thoughts about them.
Your behaviors and routines are the very ones you engaged in yesterday and the day before.
You got up, showered, grabbed a taco or your coffee, rushed to work. You complained about your life or your loneliness or your spouse or your kids or your in-laws. You may have gone to the gym but complained about your day. Or maybe you skipped the gym because of headache or low-energy. You ate the same foods because it’s what you ‘like’ or because of convenience. You drank the same kind of coffee, or beverage out of habit. You watched the same programs on tv, the same type of music or listened to the same pod cast by the same host.
You fluffed up your life with fake importance surrounding the ‘activities’ and ‘events’ based on your children or your social standing with friends and the community. And yet, YOU are still exhausted and overwhelmed.
Nothing has changed. You are your own habits.
Your emotions are the same as yesterday. You still yell at other drivers on the road or people in the parking lot. You still blame others for your bad day. You still talk to others about some horrible event or moment you experienced in your past or about someone you use to know, conjuring up the feelings you had back then. You still criticize and treat the ignorant with contemptuous energy. You still feel anxiety over something that happened in a previous relationship.
You still worry, rant, speak poorly about and generate drama at work, at home and at the family gatherings.
You are doing the same things each and every day.
YOU become your own mental programming. 95% of your situations, your interactions and your struggles ARE SIMPLY CREATED by your own mental programming. Your brain has created habits and you choose to just let them run.
You choose suffering.
You choose anxiety.
You choose depression.
You choose anger.
You choose irritation or moodiness.
You choose fear.
You choose blame.
You choose ranting.
You choose to waste energy over things you cannot change.
You choose to create drama.
Nothing can change because YOU are simply on AUTOPILOT.
Your brain patterns are intricately wired based on what you think, how you act and your feelings. To change this, you must change the wiring. Changing the wiring means changing how you think, how you behave and how you feel about all things.
Where your mind goes, your body flows.
So then what do you do if you truly want to change?
Although many people lack the willpower and perseverance to enact change, they hold within them the power and capability to change.
Each person holds inside exclusive power to change and yet, no matter what you want, you continue to run the old programs in your head. You may give it a best attempt effort a few times, maybe at certain points in your life, but more often than not, your mental programming is so powerful that you simply give up. You realize it is too much work or you miss your old patterns or the old you.
This is why we don’t SEE changes in our lives, our relationships or our health.
When we feel sick, we run to the pharmacy or to the doctor. He writes out a prescription for antibiotics and we
take it, even if the cause of our illness is a common and contagious virus. Of course, the symptoms naturally go away because the virus has run its course, but we have created a program within our mind that says ‘you must run to the doctor each time you feel this way and get medicine in order to heal’, even though it’s not true.
In spite of the potentially toxic impact of ingesting the unnecessary medications and how they disrupt the body’s natural immune system and processes and creates further instances of sickness, our thoughts about it are so deeply rooted that we feel we must run to the doctor each and every time we sniff, cough or have a fever.
To shift the old thoughts, it is important to learn NEW things and NEW ways. Your body won’t ever change because you won’t change your mind.
Creating NEW habits and new processes requires us to THINK differently each and every day.
When we wake up, and instead of putting on the coffee pot, we need to do something different like take a shower or sit and meditate. When our spouse starts complaining about clutter, we need to find new ways of handling their moods, like instead of yelling back at them, maybe silencing our own mouth and reminding ourselves ‘this is their issue and they are simply needing to vent’. When we make an intention or a plan to go to the gym at a set time the next day, instead of creating an excuse of physical exhaustion, headache, overwhelmed or allowing something else to get in the way, we need to get up, go and vow to do our best no matter how we feel. When we complain about our body, it’s size, shape, attributes, or limits, we are feeding insecurities and self-limiting beliefs that create a broken and incapable structure. We need to speak to it daily, reminding it that it is capable and challenge it to perform differently, in different ways and with different routines.
To think differently; to think with greatness, with compassion, with understanding, with an open mind, with an open heart, with integrity, with a willingness to do something new, with generosity, with love, with healing, with togetherness, with positivity…this creates new thoughts and in turn, new actions and new feelings.
This doesn’t mean we have to like someone or even sacrifice our own moral codes and value systems. Quite the contrary! You can hold compassion for yourself, set a boundary from a place
of love and still say ‘NO’ to others or no longer accept TRADITION as a reason to be overwhelmed.
Repeat this process daily and you create new habits! You create change!
The process of going from one pot of coffee each day, loaded with cream and sugar to one cup of organic cold-brew was a change in habits.
The process of sleeping in up to one hour before I needed to be at work changing to setting my alarm four hours earlier every day to sit, meditate and reflect, even on the weekends was a change in habit.
Going from an attached parent who created drama for her children through expectations of how they should be, live, dress, act and communicate to a mother who lovingly opened the door and let them fly away without anything more then a hug, knowing my part was fulfilled as they left took change.
Cleaning out the 37,500 unread emails in my email account to just under 50 required changes to my daily routine (actions), but it became a habit.
You cannot have change without making change.
If your life isn’t changing, are YOU allowing yourself to become someone completely different so that YOU can change?
-Are you changing your thoughts about things, your actions and your behaviors?
-Are you allowing yourself to become someone different?
-Are you still worrying about thigh, belly, arm flab, fearing shorts and tanks, or talking negative about your body?
-Are you making necessary changes to your habits of health such as quitting smoking and drinking?
-Are you making changes to your life to reduce stress?
-Are you enabling the people around you to take advantage of you or giving them the fruits of your labor and the power to zap your energy?
Become the change you seek!
Change your habits.