‘If there is but one thing I could change on this planet, it would be the concept of ‘words’.
By definition, a ‘word’ is a meaningful element of speech or writing. The MOST surprising (or not) element affiliated with a word is that it is a MAN-MADE creation that has evolved and changed over the course of time. It is no different than a tool used to cut grass or a vehicle used to transport items and people.
The popular word avocado, used today to provide meaningful understanding of the green seeded fatty fruit affiliated with heart and brain health, was formerly referred to as ‘ahuacatl’ which literally was a word to describe a man’s ‘testicle’, for obvious reasons! However, you don’t hear restaurants offering a side of testicles for an additional charge.
WORDS are simply material items, only we use them as a means of communication….. and to degrade, and to prove oneself ‘right’, and to victimize ourselves and others, and to spread poison to other people through gossip, anger, contempt and righteousness.
Words can actually ‘trigger’ an insecure person to chemically and emotionally react. Similar to how one chemical can be dropped into what appears to be a neutral liquid, and B A M!!!! You have an 💥 explosion!
But why? If a word is just a word, a man-made object whose intent is to simply ‘assist’ in the communication of another object, and whose meaning could have changed dozens of times across evolution, then why are people triggered by them?
Aside from a person’s own insecurity and areas needing to be healed, including mental and personality disorder, there are TWO primary conditions that can trigger a word response.
Intention and perception.
Let’s start with the most common and global reason, perception, which is our unique experience shaped by our sense of touch, smell, taste, sound and sight. It is the overall association of FEELINGS linked to a particular sensory event. That is all.
And since each and every one of our lives is 100% unique, even within the same families, then it is safe to say that each and every human holds a unique perspective! How each of us SEES the world, how each of us TASTES things, how each of us HEARS a sound, how each of us SMELLS the space around us and how each of responds to TOUCH is vastly different. It is a matrix of its own!
No two people feel the same. They are unable to do so. They can feel similarly with regards to an experience, but the fur of a small puppy or the poke of a sticker will have uniquely different sensations depending upon the individual. To describe the fur of a puppy, we use words like ‘soft’ or ‘fluffy’, whereas a sticker is deemed ‘sharp’ or ‘pointed’.
As a culture, we generally accept these word affiliations as truth. But, they are not. They are simply ONE experience, ONE sensation manifested into ONE word in order to provide communication for ALL!
My perception of the word SUN is most likely quite different than yours.
I awaken daily and sit directly in the rising sun, staring at it for 10-15 minutes. The morning sun is healing sun and is shown to be one of the GREATEST eliminators and preventive measures of depression in humans. It is also directly linked to assisting in ‘decalcifying’ your PINEAL gland (the third eye), which is responsible for the production of MELATONIN, which is directly linked to restful sleep. And remember, we heal physically, connect to our higher consciousness and even travel to other realms of clarity, healing and solutions when we sleep!
But, how many people practice this technique exactly as me? How many gasp when I say I stare directly at the sun, waiting to tell me that I can burn my eyes by doing so? How many describe their sun experiences using stories of the beach or it being too hot?
Perspective is perception.
Perspectives can change. They can shift. NOT by words, but through first person experience! My perspective on christianity shifted dramatically after being a follower of baptist and christian deities and the bible for decades! I no longer hold beliefs of christianity in any capacity. I do not pray. I do not hold sacred the bible any more than other books full of codes and fantastic stories that I may have in my library. I do not believe in an infinite place called heaven or an eternal damnation called hell. I do not feel judgment or condemnation, for I am my own savior and my life is exponentially happier, full of more love and experience than in my devout days of following a religion.
I am not one to feel sadness for the homeless.
I am not one who believes that the world is all positive or that we must all get along…FUCK that.
I am not one who believes in traditions as expected in cultures.
That is my perspective and it is my truth and one of honor and integrity! Not everyone follows the same code as I do. That is perfectly acceptable, for the light in me honors the light in them.
Perspectives change. They shift. OR they may not. Its all ok. However, no one perspective is the right way, and especially not for all, for we are a matrix of personality, experience, purpose and skill.
Understanding that the WORDS used by one may hold a polar opposite meaning to another. Neither is right or wrong, but rather, perspective based on a person’s journey.
The second is INTENTION, which is the core meaning behind the use of the word…..that only the speaker KNOWS at heart.
When a person speaks a word with loving kindness and fierceness for growth, the intent is just that….BADASSERY! And when someone speaks against a word because it’s their own triggered state, or a means of attempting to shift someone’s perception, it is no longer an intention of acceptance, but one of attempting say ‘your word is invalid or erroneous’.
I had a boss several years ago who exemplified intent of words. Our company had implemented a new and more efficient timesheet method. Written into the coding on the electronic timesheet system were the words:
She was absolutely triggered by these words and spent hours and energy trying to somehow ‘change’ the words used or get a new system. Her intent was through her own perception, that if she was offended, then this was horrible and violent and the words must be changed.
As a survivor of physical domestic violence and rape, you would think I ‘should’ be triggered by these words, but I am NOT. I healed myself from negative associations to the physical violence and I was fully capable of understanding the INTENT behind the words and not my perception of intent.
The PUNCH stayed!
Intention of what we say to someone is everything. Just because our perception and theirs doesn’t line up, it is BOTH our intention in how we receive and theirs in how they speak or write that makes the difference.
A triggered response, even if one of simply worrying IF we offended someone else is still one where our intent to receive is blocked by our own insecurities.
My intention of every single word I write is clear in my heart. It’s purpose is to speak to one, or many, as a means to help them heal if they are open and receptive. Period. If it’s not for them, so be it and they have the choice to move along unscathed.
Ahhhhh, but what if my words cause them to stop and speak against me or comment in a contrary way, even IF speaking under the guise of a forked tongue?
Nothing! My intention never changed. My intent remained authentic and my truth, stable. However their intention might, whether through plausible deniability OR outright upset, might very well have been to attempt to speak against me OR attempt to change my perspective.
If I am rooted in my truth, then their attempts can in NO WAY alter me. If I am not clear or I am insecure, I may react in a way of defense,
Intention, especially the intention to harm, hurt, degrade, belittle, make small, lessen or invalidate, is the most TOXIC of all the energies that go into words. Sarcasm, the most common form of intention, is a prime example of how words are used to harm under the guise of ‘plausible deniability’.
‘I was just kidding….you are so sensitive’ is very common for someone who operate under the mask of plausible deniability. Their intention is to harm, but their response is deflective of their own intentions.
I like to say….
Unless you are having to defend yourself from attack, If the words you are about to use in response to another aren’t honorable (would you talk to yourself or your sweetest friend or child this way) or are trying to get them to say/do something differently, then it’s best to move on without anything being said.
It is also critical to note that the lack or use of filters can change the context of words. Some individuals have a lower EQ, or emotional intelligence level and may lack the ability to use certain filters when selecting words.
Filters are like screens that prevent the UV rays from burning your skin. They don’t stop the sun from shining, but dilute the full impact of reality.
An example of a filter might be someone’s response to the word fat. A person says ‘I’m so fat’. And by definition, the individual may very well be fat but a person who filters their response might use words like ‘oh you aren’t fat! Stop talking negative about yourself’. On the opposite side, the unfiltered individual might say ‘yes, you are very fat and even unhealthy. You look horrible’.
People use filters in their photos to distort reality. They use filters of themselves when they go to certain places, like church or school, to show a limited version of who they are.
People also use a lack of filters as a means of being hurtful with their word in an effort to prove themselves ‘right’ or better than, but that goes back to an insecurity within themselves.
Perception, intent, personal insecurities and even filters, or a lack thereof, carefully sculpt each word that is spoken.
When using words, and we do soneach day, speak factual observation and ask for what it is you need from the message without using emotional triggers such as getting upset, walking out or trying to figure out if you upset another. Speak your truth from the heart instead of a place of emotional reactions linked to past experiences.
When responding to words, ask yourself ‘am I trying to change someone’s belief’ or ‘am I responding because I disagree with their words’. If the answer is yes, its best to remain silent.
Words are often used when silence makes much more, but often ignored when something is true.
Speak truth. Speak from the heart. Speak in such a way that you communicate what you need in clear unemotional facts.
Use your words wisely!