Despondency and despair are simply extreme human weakness manifested in negative emotions. For the weak, the broken, the victim, the enabled…this is difficult to hear, but it is truth.
Two individuals suffering the same trauma will have different outcomes, depending upon their inner value and strength.
To be despondent, desperate or in despair makes little sense to me. I am strong and I hold my own power in my hands.
By definition, despondency means to be ‘in low spirit due to loss of hope or loss of courage’. I can roll with this to some degree. I can understand a temporary state of weakness. However, when despondency becomes HOW an individual responds to the situations this beautiful life shares with us, it reveals to me how weak an individual is.
Despondency is a weak man’s choice.
It is an intentional selection of a response based, often unaware, on the most unrealistic and most improbable of outcomes.
I can’t go on.
I cannot live without….him,her,you.
If I cannot have ‘x’, it’s over.
My life is worthless (a waste, meaningless etc.)
I am at the end! The bottom.
Why even live?
What benefit am I to their lives?
WHOA! I cannot fathom a world so powerless and weak, where I would choose these statements or have a similar mindset.
Plot twist….All things in THIS life are TEMPORARY and we are the drivers of our life.
Our relationships. Our children. Our homes. Our jobs. Our cars. Our savings. Our family. Our friends. Our bodies. Our health. Our situations. Our own lives. They will ALL end in their time.
In a second, ALL of it can be gone no matter HOW fantastic a planner you are. This is reality. This is truth.
We come into the world alone and we go out alone. But in between, this is what matters! This is where we must focus on OURSELVES and living fully in the present and letting go of our unhealthy and unrealistic attachments. The work is accomplished between birth and death; not because we fear the latter or look back at the former.
So then, if everything is temporary, then why do people place so much energy into ONE person, one place, one moment or one thing? Why attach when doing do only leaves us disappointed, upset, sad and even without hope?
Life is full…FULL of MILLIONS of possibilities, choices and options! Full of new beginnings, fresh starts and do overs, all which require an END to the old. Full of abundance and gratitude. Full of positive moments. Full of exits and entrances.
There is always HOPE!
There are always dreams, futures, new relationships, new careers, new ways to live, new experiences. Confidence comes from within oneself and is initially learned as a child from those who encourage us to explore, express and be free. Even if the upbringing is one of negativity and caged by another’s expectations, we still have the option, the choice, to FLY FREE and create our own beautiful space within ourselves and in our own life.
So WHY then, if all of these choices; these options and possibilities exist would anyone be truly despondent? Why would they be without hope? Why would they lose courage?
As I laid in bed last night sleeping peacefully under the stars of the night’s sky, I was awakened suddenly by the voice of someone who was despondent.
She was sobbing uncontrollably and was threatening to jump from a bridge to her death. In all of choices, her options and her experiences, what was so horrific and terminal that it’s presence would never change; it’s pain would never heal?
Her own weakness.
Only the perfectly placed existence of another human prevented this tragedy, what sounded to be a teenager or young woman from jumping from off the narrow bridge to her death while the other humans sleeping soundly in their tents and cabins. I’m sure an experience that will forever haunt this guardian knowing that one misstep or one moment off and she would have witnessed a horrific death.
WHAT in a person’s life could be SO horrific that leaping off of a bridge to their painful end would be the only option?
When we teach our children to be silent, to acquiesce, to not speak out against those who bring us physical and emotional harm, we teach them to fear the love of self. We teach them to to be weak, dependent, co-dependent, needy, attention seekers, damsels in distress, victims and despondent. We validate their own self-limiting value by not speaking truth.
This begins as a young child, carries forward as a teen into relationships and then onto partnerships, marriage and adulthood. It becomes rigidity in our own mindset and the self-imposed caged limitations of what we can have in our life and what we deserve.
In the wild, the weak do not survive. They are killed at birth, left to die or abandoned because they are a detriment to the survival of the pack.
The old saying that only the strong survive isn’t just a cliche. It’s truth. This is not to say that we cannot heal the injured or help the weak become capable. In fact, being an ambassador of truth and strength is the best way to help and heal all things!
It’s about those in positions of authority and guidance helping raise strong, capable, happy and independent humans.
It’s about fathers not abandoning their daughters, betraying their wives or living a life of drunken debauchery.
It’s about raising son’s who do not degrade women, who do not cheat, abuse or lie.
It’s about mothers showing their children what a healthy, capable and strong woman CAN accomplishing on her own! It’s about getting through it, no matter what life hands her!
It’s being soft of heart and strong of soul!
If your life is at a point of despondency, YOU have allowed yourself to become so weak that you become the target, no different than the weak and fearful water buffalo crossing the river full of crocodiles.
However, YOU have choices! Choices to heal. Choices to become strong. Choices to reclaim your power.
You have choices to become strong of mind and body!
You have within your own existence all of the tools of HOPE…
So why would you choose despondency?