Last night, I hit the bed exhausted. I had overcome yet another rough week full of adaptations, learning curves, self-healing and labor. I took a few unwarranted ass chewings, dealt with some stress and broke down a few times.
I am NOT a morning person, however, I love my morning self time…when I awaken at 5am to a silent house, burn my sage or incense, light a candle and just reflect. In fact, it is essential to my daily outcomes in terms of shielding!
That being said, I must have my time to go to sleep in order to achieve my daily goal.
Last night, I crawled into bed at 10:25pm exhausted. I had taught 2 classes, worked overtime in TV land, completed all tv shop warranty tickets so we could get PAID (kind of important), dug through layers of administrative red tape, aka bullshit to get a handle on parts, filled and loaded sandbags (30-40 at about 50# each), sacrificed my own workout, stood in a dark park and stared at the landscape for almost an hour, dealt with the childish antics of two teen boys and a childishly encouraging but very cranky and focused spouse.
I was starving and the clock was ticking! I knew that we had an early rise, I knew I needed my self time and I knew that I was burning out (remember….I get up at 5 ish, so 17 hours of wake and work were behind me). My beloved still going and doing…..he gets up at 9am! I was brain fucked, physically dead and emotionally dry.
Why? Because of service to others.
I awoke at 5am, sipped my coffee and prepared my mind to begin. We had to leave by 7am, load about 1500 lbs in tires and get it all started. I champed up – no makeup, glasses in lieu of contacts, hair a wreck (shit! Forgot about those pics that would be taken). I had my shit together early, smoothie in hand, so when he said let’s go….I was ready!
Why? Because of service to others.
When I saw their faces, my entire spirit was set alight. I KNEW why I was here. The energy and connectivity, on so many unique levels.
The tribe of women!
The power of women supporting and loving and HUGGING (even if they haven’t yet learned the value in this act) and laughing and sharing and living life together as a unit of sparkling energy is so undervalued in our society! Don’t get me wrong, some women do not deserve my support and energy. They have their own journey and healing and obstacles and tribe and energies to contend with. That is perfectly OK. But this moment, this gathering…..it was the best!
It’s not girl’s night getting crunk that brings this fire to the surface, although I won’t say that a night around the table or on the couch drinking a couple of glasses of wine and connecting with my sisters in soulful ways is a bad thing. However, it’s the energy or the vibe that YOU put out and that YOU open up to receive that matters.
I’ve spent a lifetime boundaried up against women because I have lost a lot of valuable moments, loved ones and connections because of SOME of the females in my life. But I never had soul sisters! I never had a tribe of loving, uplifting, positive and sparkling women in my life….until now.
I have to say, I absolutely love my husband. Sometimes, I think I love him more than he loves me…maybe too much! I want so much to laugh and play and talk to him. To connect like I do with my tribe. Don’t get me wrong, I receive some of the most beautiful and powerful moments of deep intimacy, soul connection, success and adoration from him. He’s not a skeeze, womanizer, loser. He’s not a ‘gotta but, fish, watch football and drink beer’ kind of man, which I value greatly. He wants me with him mostly. We may sit in total silence and eat dinner, but we are connected. He’s patient most of the time, he gets shit done, we don’t want for anything. He’s my guy!
But he doesn’t provide the energy and shine that radiates through my soul and body that my tribe of women do!
Today, all fatigue and personal dislike of morning dissolved. It was replaced with energy via a group of sisters, a few brothers and my beloved!
As I reflect on today, I am so honored, so grateful to have each one of these women in my life! They are unique, their shapes, their colors, their individual personalities and dispositions. Their morpho markings unique to them. Their glittering skin and perfect talents, theirs. But together….the power was unparalleled!
I wouldn’t have traded today for an all expenses paid month long vacation to anywhere in the world.
I am rich beyond measure and I honor each of you, whether or not you were there, and hold much space for you in my heart! My tribe is my gift from the universe. My tribe is something I have never experienced before in my life.
For the strength, power and energy of me is my tribe and the strength, power and energy of my tribe is me.
We are all connected.
Namaste (in a new way)!